Airforce One 2009 (Billie Jean by Michael Jackson)
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Jerk Bosses I Have Known – Fire Your Boss
Barak Obama the Movie
Barak Obama the Movie ???
And you think that you told “tall tales” and stories to your boss ??
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Lord Help Us
And you wonder why the North American economy is in such trouble ?
It continues to be an amazement that in comparison to most of the rest of the world America is looked up to as the model of efficiency and effectiveness – productivity that most other places in the world can only look up to and emulate. It reminds one of Winston Churchill’s remark that “Democracy is the worst form of government by far…. except for the others”.
If what we all put up with in terms of doing our jobs in spite of management , red tape and government bureaucrats who just smile , implement “strict privacy laws” which seem to have great penalties – but are only applied to taxpayers and citizens – while not being applied in any measure to the day to day activities of those same departments.
Appeal treatment , you may get reams of policy statements , your rights as a taxpayer , ratepayer etc etc, yet the agencies have “Ombudsman” to deal with such issues. Yet these individuals are part of the whole same system , who want to stay out of the limelight , keep their budgets and obtain their valued promotions and raises. It seems they can not be counted on any in any manner to step out of line and do ” the right thing” Its all one giant game .
Crisis at the Workplace
Jerk Managers I Have Known
http://www.jerkbossesihaveknown.com
Lord help us.
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What a Bunch of Morons !
What are some tips and strategies for dealing with the big “BIG BULLY” of them all – your foolish and stupid boss. Send your boss a poem perhaps.
1) Be ostentatiously loyal – no matter how hard it is , it seems or how downright foolish and demanding it may be of your intelligence and patience. Time heals all so they say.
It has been noted in the management literature and the schools of hard knocks that bullies seem to demand a visible show of fealty – the Merriam Webster dictionary defines fealty as the “fidelity of a vassal or a feudal tenant to his Lord”. Can you think of a better description of the situation.
The expression is “When in Rome do as the Romans”.
The most amazing thing is that you might think that your behaviour might be suspect . Suck-holing they might of called it in school. Yet remember here that you are dealing with abject morons. It turns out that in most cases they are gratified at what they see again as more examples of their apparent power and powers over others. To be expected from greatness of course. The only one right and correct answer to the situation. It simply reaffirms the important motto – that the rules are golden , and they are my rules.
What a bunch of morons !
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Zodiac Psychopathic Killer
Zodiac Psychopathic Killer
The Boss Came Back
Is there a way to do the above but yet still retain your personal dignity and self of self ? Afraid not my dear. The best you can do is hope that these events happen in far off Greenland or perhaps off the road or in a truck stop on the way to Fort McMurray . Better yet leave your boss by the roadside in the dead of winter far away from any visible sources of transportation , phone service or any availability or potential for help.
After all would he not of treated you in this manner , or has done many many times.
One little boss , how hard can it be ?
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Send Your Boss a Poem
www.jerkbossesihaveknown.com
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Job Performance – Work Attendance – Interview Questions
You may well of had a situation at a border crossing of being asked “Where were you born ?”. Puzzling you may think as I am an “American ” with a valid American passport and documentation. Why should I be asked “Where am or was I born ?”
In the same way you may be asked in a job interview about absences at work and your attendance record. This may even be for an interview for a firm that either pays by a commissions structure or in its mind gives lip service to phrases such as ” First and foremost we reward results…. we…. solid performance.” Its a case of lack of comprehension of simple concepts or / and dealing with idiots and morons. A little knowledge can be said to be a dangerous thing in the hands of less than proficient management.
What should matter first and foremost is results – your productivity and as well ( perhaps) consistency. There are no shortage of apparently loyal employees and various workers “screwing the dog” aka putting in time., all for that large pension or “golden handshake ” at the end of it all .
It could be said that the bonus system of management for the American auto industry and financial system is delusional and indeed theft and is more than a false measure of job performance and productivity. However in the end someone has to pay the piper . Hopefully that is someone else than you , somewhere else.
Fire Your Boss -Send Your Boss a Poem
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Answers to Routine Psychological Interview Question “Who Would You Most to be Born As in the Whole Wide World ?”
Another standard interview question or query that indeed evolved into a classic joke with a punchline is along the lines of “If you could be anyone in the world who would you like to be or have you often wished you were born as someone else in another family setting ?” In the humorous version the answer given to the puzzled interviewer is “Alberta Pipilini” . The puzzled interviewer ponders the answer – not understanding the answer or knowing who the person of fame Alberta Pipiliniis or where she resides , and in what capacity.
This is a psychological question with deep hidden inner meanings and desires revealed.
It turns out that when the interviewer reframes the question – that the person in question is not person in the flesh but rather the oil pipeline of Alberta (Canada) (Alberta pipeline) , who the interviewee ( most likely female) , and that “Alberta Pipelini was laid by a thousand men in the course of six months”.
Well at least the interview question ruled out one candidate on the grounds of intelligence or perhaps helped choose a new executive secretary for the boss.
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Obama – Union Leader at the Fontainebleau Resorts Miami Beach
It is surreal . It is beyond belief.
Are Americans as foolish and downright stupid as it appears to take this storybook pablum from their elected political leaders. Its as if you have your moronic boss as your political leader.
It can be noted and said that a main reason that there are no more than 2 political parties in the American political system is that is akin to having two drug stores in a country town. Country town usually have one drug store or two never three. One drug store is OK. Two allows for trouble making customers to swing between stores – and is a good thing for the owners of the pharmacies . In addition it allows for long weekends in the summers for one or other outlets to close . Its all for convenience of the profit makers not for the consumer or those being served.
In a similar manner there are only two political parties. Get mad at one – you have an alleged option and alternative as a consumer or in this case citizen / voter / taxpayer.
However this time the fraud and deceit goes beyond anything imaginable.
Imagine this . Your wallet is drained. You fear for losing your job and home. What of your family ? Things should be tough. Hold off. Restraint of discretionary and luxury spending that can be held off till times improve and the tide turns .
And yet – what are Obama and his cronies doing ?
The Union leaders – in this case the AFL-CIO as an example – the self proclaimed “America’s Union Movement”,
are being wined and dined at the fantastic Fontainebleau Resorts Miami Beach Resort. Rooms start – that is start – at 400 $ US a night - that is not ocean view – its a room facing a closet. Wining and dining - while the average America citizen wines in horror. Sure hope that the organizers got a group discount corporate rate.
Fire Your mean and incompetent boss
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Fire Your mean and incompetent boss
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Your Boss as the Manager of the Bus
Imagine your boss as the manager and supervisor of a school-bus
Here he is indeed after a careful search and hiring process by the below questionnaire – no expense ( of the expense and travel accounts ) was spared in the search for accurate testing process for new hires and company presidents.
The much fabled “Xerox PSS Course” ” Sell me that pen” , could be summarized as little more than close to $ 5,000 spent hire or trained monkey all to learn to repeat the phrase – “hmm”
Jerk Bosses I Have Known – Fire Your Boss
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Gastic Work Related Ulcer on the Way
A classic tale of a gastic ulcer – its development , growth under the stress of work related moronic causes :
Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to…
Ulcer at Work (1957)
Excellent noir-type film about pressures facing a white-collar worker whose ulcer drives him to psychological extremes.
This movie is part of the collection: Prelinger Archives
Director: Ned Hockman
Producer: Dwight Swain
Production Company: University of Oklahoma
Sponsor: Oklahoma State Department of Health
Audio/Visual: sound, b&w
Keywords: Mental health; Ulcers; Motion pictures: Film noir
![[item image]](http://ia300134.us.archive.org/1/items/ulcer_at_work/ulcer_at_work.gif?cnt=0 "[item image]")
Run time: 28:38
Play / Download (help![[help]](http://www.archive.org/images/question.gif "[help]")
)
(122 MB)Ogg Video
(125 MB)512Kb MPEG4
(806 MB)MPEG2
All Files: HTTP
![[Public Domain]](http://creativecommons.org/images/public/norights.gif "[Public Domain]")
Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured
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Back to the Future of the “New Economy”
The online internet auction seller eBay can well serve as a case in point
eBay seems to go out of its way to prove “Who is Boss !” regardless of any of the consequences to its sales , customer relationships and ultimately its bottom line.
On eBay its the sellers who carry the load and pay the tariff – not the buyers by any chance
Listing fees , “final value sale fees” and then a PayPal fee / tax of approximately 4 %
eBay regularly issues updates and edicts to the sellers all tied into 1984 type language of how “we are here to help you”
It apparently target markets new upcoming product revisions and systems extensively – the committees must be deaf , dumb and plain or just plain misinformed and misdirected
Two examples
1) Good news to enhance “transparency” sellers can now only leave positive or no feedback at all whereas the buyer
has the choice of bidding , buying or not trusting a vendor . The seller has no such powers
Yet the buyer can hit the seller with negative feedback
Apparently some sellers were using threat of negative feedback to force or coerce buyers to pay up for what they purchased on . Horrors.
On top of that if a seller http://pages.ebay.com/help/policies/feedback-terms.html
2) Recently to enhance the process of non paying bidders , ebay came up with a new streamlined strategy – The Unpaid Item Policy”
Great
Only one problem – the time limit has been conveniently reduced ( quietly) from 45 to 32 days
10 days not to be paid
10 days for the buyer to promise to pay while you wait. If the seller is overly aggressive in requesting payment promptly they may receive a negative comment from the buyer who has not honored their committments
lastly if the seller is dragged on further by the buyer – soon its too late to make the claim
Remember these rules and procedures are all there to help you
You can bet on one thing , eBay will always take its cut regardless right off the top
The seller is left to wonder is this all worth the effort of it all
Ebay can serve as a model of business , your boss and how the same people who ran the old pre-internet “bricks and mortar ” economy into the ground , are now back firmly and place and most likely your new boss or supervisor.
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Innate Fear of Others coupled with Competitiveness
Motivation and employee motivations. Most employees are actually fairly simple thinkers , straight shooters.
Contrast to the type of thinking of most who go into fields of management and “management sciences”. Schemers , and downright pathological social deviants. Who can they beat – everything in life is a contest. How can they get something for free almost to the point of being proud and glad if they hurt someone and injure or derail their lives.
Yet most employees , usually are looking for the benefit of their respective firms, whereas many in the management fields are the type that if they find a good deal somewhere or a good workman will go out fo their way not to share this information as deep down ( or even not to deep) , they are in competition with everyone and anyone . They might inadvertently tell a close friend ( when they are on the upswing not before ) , “Isn’t that how “we “ keep score , as if life is one big game of them against the world , and they must “beat” or “crush” everyone else.
The social deviancy is not that “We all win” , “We all do well toge tether” , its that “I must win at all costs” and tht “There can only be one winner”. If you win , then I must lose. Couple this with a pathological fear of failure and you have most bosses.
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Employee Motivation
From a managerial handbook “ You might be tempted to try to keep employees satisfied in order to maintain productivity. That is not easy . Employee satisfaction can be expensive . There is only one economical alternative to addressing the employee “satisfaction” issue. Can you locate it on this list:
First the whole exercise sounds rather sterile , even more than elitist, coupled with Nazi like understandings of an issue similar to the concept of “The Jews are Our Misfortune”.
What might this list be in terms of employee satisfaction alternatives :
1) Increase salaries ( bad for profit levels)
2) Improve working environment and environments – again not good for bottom line profit levels and more importantly it reduced the perceived value of the “perks” given to management in relation to the peons doing the work and bringing home the “bacon”
“Perks of management” have been defined and described by some as anything given to management for free that can not really be justified financially or by any other means.
Its all in relation to who has what. Not unlike men comparing the size of the penises of the hard drives on their laptop computers.
What a bunch of morons. In the end the assignment will be to conduct and employee satisfaction survey or survey and both ignore any results and information obtained while penalizing and deriding any “wrong answers”.
It all comes down to plain foolishness and downright stupidity. “I’m the boss”.
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Get Out There and Work or You Won’t Have a Job
“The camps of the Huns enjoyed a spirited life with pronounced fluctuations in joy and sorrow. Victory brought about joy, sounds of celebration and ephemeral feelings of security . The death ( firings , downsizings), of warriors , periods of diminished supplies ( our recent economic crisis lending, mortgage crisis , oil and gas prices etc) and tribal struggles ( struggles at the top , mergers , corporate upper echelon management infighting and backstabbing”, brought on sorrow and despair
source: Leadership Secrets of Atilla the Hun
Does this sound eerily like your workplace or office – especially during “training ” or “meeting ” sessions.
It was once remarked and noted by an experienced salesman at one such event – “I have been with many outfits . Its all the same . They are all the same. They bring you to nice digs out in the middle of nowhere ( control issues , to isolate employees to have their full undivided attention) , they feed you well , pour great amount of liquor down your throats.
Yet in the end it is always the same message :Get out there on your asses or work or you won’t have a job !”
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Crisis at the Workplace
Jerk Managers I Have Known
http://www.jerkbossesihaveknown.com
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The Bosses Briefcase Opening to Reveal Hard Core Management Type Books
Imagine your life at work is a “nightmare”
Imagine finding a recently read book on your manager’s desk , or when he open up his briefcase for a cursory visit to broadcast to you the title of a most conveniently placed document – the management classic ? book “Management / Leadership Secrets of Atilla the Hun“. its not far off from the tactics of the task department asking you in for a nice talk or discussion. For all the effect on your nerves and your feelings of job security he might just of well packed into the briefcase Mein Kamph and placed it on display in a World War 2 Concentration Camp.
W
What to make of this all , and to cope and hopefully survive – More to follow
Abusive Bosses I Have Known
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Selling Out
Selling out is “selling out” your principles. Although it is and seems wrong you may have to do from time to time. Perhaps your boss is an idiot – a moron – who believes by kytowing you he has great power. It is an interesting lesson in life that in the end we have little control over much of anything. And yet many live their lives in a vain attempt to control others – even declaring it in grandiose terms such as “The Rules are Golden and THEY ARE MY RULES”. You would expect such thoughts and management behavior from the Gestapo not in a business where the end result is supposed to be productivity not control of others. And yet many management types act in this vain attempt that somehow that they have great control overs ( at least in front of their faces). They probably fall asleep ( if not in a drunken stupor) of repeating this mantra of “The Rules are Golden and They are MY RULES”. King of the playpen , Morons of the world
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An Interesting Point to Ponder
“A most interesting point of view”, ” A good point to ponder !” or ” an interesting point to ponder”.
All phrases of an “discussion “ with management on the way , full of mis-truths ,misunderstandings. You might as well say to the author of these stock phrases - Why not just send me a memo ( now a blackberry text message) and tell me what has been decided already ? Why get me upset , and pretend that I/or we have some input when don’t in any way or manner.
It must be on page x of the management handbook or in an article read on the airplane that the management clone / fool is now an expert of but in reality understands litle of the basic concept and concepts in any manner what so ever.
The amazing part of it all that they really think that they “are so smart” when in actuality they are complete morons in any manner.
The difference is that they have the hangman’s hand on the pull switch which gives them apparent power. It has been said after the First World War by a journalist on the origin of war and wars that they occur when ” politicians have journalists write lies ( and the wars occur) when the politicians begin to believe those lies”.
The same can be said of management , its great power and powers in itself and ultimately in its own correctness. Why not ponder those points yourself. Look in the mirror . “An interesting point to ponder” yourself
Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured
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Sonny – Look at your Own Order Book
If nothing else is sacred – your self worth as well as personal integrity should be.
Do not let management make “mince meat” out of you in order to preserve their “sacred cows”
Your remain the same person that you were with or without their approval. Their approval or pat on your head (or threats ) mean little. You were the same person regardless – the same person who woke up in the morning ,who got in the car or bus. Your intrinsic value remains the same regardless. Resist the magic swoop of logic that somehow the minute you don’t fall to their wishes , or miss a production , sales or other corporate ( top floor ) target you are somewhow of less value as a human being . Magic ( and most faulty logic). Have them look in the mirror. How on earth does missing one arbritrary target of their make you any less of a human being.
In many ways it comes down to control issues on their part – pathological on their part. If anyone has problems it is them . Look in the mirror. Look at your own order book sonny.
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Unusual and Deranged Management Concepts
Any of a number of outward manifestations or traits can well provide a better idea , an insight or insights into what your boss / supervisor / manager is really like and what really portends his mind or what perhaps goes on his / her or its little mind.
Never mind the little chatter ( none of which is off the cuff) that comes out of their mouths. What is really going on . What are the real concerns and area of focus ? That is other than getting into power – to be in the real position to effect change towards what they feel is “right ” “proper” or to drive that big new Cadillac perk – never mind that the vehicle of choice has now moved on to new models and types. So much for progressive proactive thinking. Its all still way back there in the “stone age”.
As an example and case in point one manager went on at great lengths regarding a discussion he had with a novice , and still relatively untouched , marketing type. The conversation was about the skills – or better simply put coercive management skills of Atilla the Hun. Atilla was widely successful in conquering and tormenting vast areas of geography. He was known as the evil Rasputin of his day. Still he not only was successful , he was an effective manner of men. Atilla did not do the work himself but by command of the troops. The summary of Atilla’s management style was that troops showed loyalty to Atilla and Atilla rewarded the troops. It all depends which side of the fence or side you are on . Good and evil is only subjective. If you are on Atilla’s side the rape and pillage and rewards would be great. If on the other side of the victims’ then not so good. The message to any listeners was ” I am a bastard ” but if you show loyalty to me and my projects I will reward you greatly. “Get with the program”
Jerk Bosses I Have Known – Fire Your Boss
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Perks of Management
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Wrong Solutions
It seemed that John felt that “he needed a job”. So much for peer and family pressure all meaning well.
However John was having trouble finding a job that paid enough . He had worked in the produce department of a grocery store but had quit because the pay was so low. Desperate he decided to apply for such a position , even though he resented the low wages and no benefits.
Finally he found an actual opening. The grocer offered x amount a week $ to manage the produce section of the supermarket. John agreed. Workers often react and respond to unfair treatment by ripping off the company. In the end neither side benefits to any degree – both are being taken advantage of . No one is ahead at the end of the day. Not the employer who has problems of employee theft and low morale. Not the workers who seldom put in an honest days work , and are best are scheming at how to get more off the shelf goods. So much for good value and proper effective management tactics and procedures.
Jerk Bosses that I have Known and Endured
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