TAG | Moonie
You most likely have had the pleasure of “attending” as a “participant” ( willing or not) a sales and motivation session.
After all , business for most is bad if not terrible. Its never a fault of upper management. After all their perks are sacrosanct and given by the creator him or herself.
Many companies are showing increased bottom lines. Yet when financial analysts , evaluate the stock market and business data it seems, that it is not as a result of increased sales , or new product releases onto the marketplace but rather mainly due to staff and staffing reductions
Less people to pay on the office , factory or sales floor , hence revenue minus lower expenses yields a greater bottom line.
Wonderful – if you follow this logic GM and Chrysler must have the greatest management in the world whereas in essence while the bottom line increased steadily on the color graphs and charts the company was cannibalized , new product development and research halted , production reduced , and the best and most experienced staff let go.
If they were working for the company , rather than being on pension at least the firm would get some value for their money. What is left , if any staff are a bunch of innocuous ( to upper management ) “yes men”
Regardless of reality if you are lucky enough to attend the “moonie session” be prepared , regardless of the wordy themes ( building bridges with staff / suppliers , enhanced service levels in 2010, our customers are our future , our staff is most important to our success etc etc) be prepared to a session on “in 2010 you are Going to HAVE TO LEARN TO JUGGLE !”
Here for your benefit is a lesson on the “art of juggling” 101
Step 1 : Cascade ( One Scarf)
Begin with one scarf in your dominant hand. Hold it with your palm down , between your thumb , first and second fingers . The backs of your hands should be visible to you.
With a scooping motion from outside to inside, toss the scarf. It should go across the center line and peak about 8 inches above your head on the opposite side from which you threw it.
Catch it in your subordinate hand with your palm down.
Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured
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Bottom Line · Bottom Lines · Building Bridges · Business Data · Cascade · Chrysler · Color Graphs · Dominant Hand · Financial Analysts · Gm · Graphs And Charts · Greatest Management · Increased Sales · Moonie · Participant · Scarf · Step 1 · Stock Market · Thumb · Upper Management
Imagine a mentality like this
“Rule Number One” You can never trust your employers to be responsible
Along with this is rule number two being “Any discussion of management decisions is to be taken as a direct threat and attack on the manager”
Rule Number Three :Any continual education of most kinds is to be seen as another direct threat as “Everyone else ( especially those who work under me” is after my job. “ Somehow this pathology continues.
The one exception to this rule is where the company has mandated a course. Talk about Dilbert. The manager has thus taken (?) the course. It may well have involved a drunken meeting of sorts for upper management. Well at least some air travel points ( to which they are more than entitled).
In this situation of the post course educated management type the poor victim may have to listen to the words of wisdom spouted by the scholar in his attempts to impress others. For example it may be a course on buying behavior clusters. In actuality this may be one half to a full page in any standard marketing textbook. Yet the intelligent manager may spout at after each encounter with any human being his immediate label. “That is an early adopter”, “”That would be a later adopter ” etc etc etc. The amazing part is that the whole concept may ( and is usually) is taken out of context of its acutal use or indeed any relevant use or helpful appropriate label. Its the non-seeing idiot leading the blind so to speak.
This type of person has his ego directly embedded with his position. He or she as been taught ( indeed it is a mantra of their existence) that without their job / position they have no worth as a human being whatsoever . This may fall into other fields as well as “Moonie , If you are not making money then you have no worth as a human being ( at least ) in our eyes
The problem with these internalized ” rules “ is that any reaction or “human resources” to any questions or concerns of an employee is a direct attack on that person regardless if the idea has any merit any well or positive benefits to the organization involved.
What a bunch of morons.
An insightful letter to the editor:
A heated debate on the rescue plan for the “Big Three” automakers (GM, Ford and Chrysler) is raging on both sides of the border. Both governments (U. S. and Canadian) are going through their empty treasury cupboards in near panic haste. Everybody is trying to do the “right thing” but there is a danger that just the opposite will be achieved. How did we get into this deplorable situation?
Ever since the demise of the Trudeau leadership, all subsequent political leaderships did away with this “vision for the nation” thing. It became too difficult, almost impossible, for most of our political leaders on all levels of government to think beyond today. Long-term economic planning for our nation became viewed as a communist ploy and was banished from the vocabulary of our governments.
It was substituted by short-term (quarterly) myopic vision. Companies have to make truckloads of profit by the end of every quarter (i. e. three-month period) in order not to disappoint the anonymous stock market analysts and it will surely result in both the big bonuses for their CEOs and ever-increasing prices of their shares.
During his nearly two-year contract (2001 to 2002) in Chrysler, that was under the German management, this writer noticed how dispirited the employees were by the constant reorganizations and restructuring, how arrogant, unwise and unimaginative the top management appeared to be.
I witnessed the suppliers of Chrysler being squeezed by management into 15% reductions in the prices of parts announced to them via e-mail on Friday afternoon and being effective the next Monday. I have seen many highly skilled and innovative information technology staff being outsourced to Indian companies and many other management blunders.
It kept on getting worse as time went by. It almost felt like management’s business plan was to destroy the company as fast as possible.
All top managers (CEO, CIO, CAO, board members, etc.) should have been “promoted” to a very ugly jail and charged with committing serious criminal economic acts. Instead, they got multimillion dollar bonuses, lucrative stock options and other valuable perks. And everybody else got shafted.
This was standard operating procedure in the entire auto industry. GM — the Dick Cheney of the automotive world, once the most powerful corporation in the world — was the most mismanaged of them all. And now, we should be bailing them out with our money? No, let them go bankrupt!
In order to provide meaningful financial relief to GM, Ford and Chrysler, which would assure their existence, both the federal and the provincial governments would have to fork out billions (not hundreds of millions) of dollars. Anything less would be worthless. Yet, there would be no guarantee that they would survive. What should we do?
In these times of acute financial distress on every level –federal, provincial, municipal, corporate and personal — it would be morally and intellectually wrong to pour our shrinking financial resources into an industry that is a part of the problem rather than a part of the solution.
http://www.northumberlandtoday.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1305226
Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured
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