Jerk Bosses I have Known and Endured

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1) Send out a resignation with his name on the last page – leave out the first and middle pages – only the last summary page should appear

2) Do the same for other less liked employees – there will no shortage of suspects

3) Have your boss’s house or car insurance – attempt to cancel it

it will take tons of time and effort to cancel and unconfirm or confirm

the policy will stay in place

it will just take tons of time and effort to get it correct on all sides

4) Misfile important papers and signed contracts

5) Change the names on his powerpoint presentations for the finished versions to that of unfinished less polished ones

6)Hand a manila envelope to the new guy for important delivery to the boss – do it during a most important upper echelon meeting that has been previously scheduled months in advance

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Some good pranks to play on your lovely boss:

1) When away for lunch have his computer send a 300 mb file of pornography to his important mailing list on Outlook or Outlook Express. Add title or comment – “Most Important and Crucial to Complete the Project”

2) Hire a temporary worker to do your job for you. Alternatively if you can figure out how to do this for your boss – so that they discover how little he does in his job.

3)Have all ( or most ) of his correspondence sent out by Fed Ex. This is best done to international contacts as well. An “opening fee” for customs is charged to the recipients ( often on their credit cards without their approval)

4) Send blank pieces of paper via internal or external mail to recipients. Marked these packages “Urgent” or “Confidential and Most Private” or “For Immediate Action”

The return address of course is your boss

This can be done with the Fed Ex ploy above as well – to create maximal effects

An alternate viewpoint of this strategy is to send out his latest or an older ( redated) 15 page memo with an odd assortment of pages missing.

5 ) Replace a commonly used form on the office computer network with a photo chosen from the boss’s favorite collection –

his kids , a fishing photo , or best a photo of his girlfriend , mistress or at the worst any women ( or man) along with his ( or her) name or other identifying criteria

Jerk Bosses I Have Known

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The biblical event of the supper of Jesus Christ with his twelve apostles, which took place during the night before he was crucified was commemorated tonight by the Members Church of God International (MCGI).

The occasion was mainly hosted by Bro. Eli Soriano, the Presiding Minister of MCGI. Although abroad, just as the brethren that were in other parts of the globe, they were able to join the night of supper that is based on the Bible via satellite and live streaming.

Regardless of the time differences of each respective country, Bro. Eli explained that he is following the Philippine time zone where the Ang Dating Daan Convention Center in Apalit is situated.

A very fine sunset signaled the start of the event for the Church of God International members for the biblical supper. At six twenty-five after the opening prayer, Bro. Daniel Razon, the Vice-Presiding Minister, was introduced to preside over the introductory parts of the theme that were set to be discussed that night.

Bro. Eli, in his turn, had emphasized the importance of faith in following Lord Jesus Christ’s gospel, like the commandment of commemorating the supper the Lord initially performed.

“Regardless of our lack of understanding of the whole truth behind God’s commandment, still, we faithfully trusted in it, that we will benefit from obeying it,” said the phenomenal preacher in his discourse.

“We may not fully understand the significance of the Lord’s Supper, but because the Lord himself commanded it, we are fulfilling it to commemorate his death,” he added. “We are doing this because it is God’s will, and we obediently follow because of faith.” This celebration, according to Bro. Eli will continue until the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.

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If you are currently employed, you do not have to rush into a new job because of economic necessity. You an move ahead in a determined planned manner. Continue working at your present and current job while you take aptitude tests and get career guidance , do research , perhaps even work part time at other jobs that you think might like and enjoy.

Many do indeed lament the fact that “they are too soon old and too late smart”. Having failed to get a good education or skills . they feel trapped in a low paying and/ or boring job and / or stupid , most stupid or controlling boss , supervisor or manager. But wanting to get out of a boring job or other employment may provide just the motivation that you need to get more or additional training.

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- Uses logic on difficult jobs = gets someone else to do it- Expresses himself well = speaks English

- Meticulous attention to detail – a nitpicker

- Has leadership qualities – is tall or has a loud voice

- exceptional good judgment – Lucky

- Keen sense of humor – knows a lot of dirty jokes

- Career minded – back stabber

Jerk Bosses I Have Known and Endured

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Good communications skills – spends a lot of time on the telephone

Average employee – a dummy to be looked down on , a peon

Exceptionally well qualified – has not done anything too stupid yet that has been caught or come back to haunt him or her

Work is first priority – has no life , or can be be bullied , threatened and abused by stupid management

Active socially – a party guy – like George W. Bush

Family is active socially – whole family lives to party

Independent thinker – a lone wolf , who management cannot control

Careful thinker – never makes a decision on his or her own, a group person who hides behind the meeting or the “committee”

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Ever hear about the dihydrogen monoxide hoax? It’s been around for a while, but it got a lot of media attention in 1997 when a 14-year-old student named Nathan Zohner circulated a petition to ban the substance as part of a high school science fair. According to Zohner, dihydrogen monoxide “may cause severe burns, accelerates the corrosion and rusting of many metals, and has been found in the excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.” Despite these risks, the nefarious chemical is often used “as an industrial solvent and coolant, in the production of Styrofoam, and as a fire retardant.”

By now I’m sure most of you have figured out that dihydrogen monoxide is the technical name for H2O, also known as water. So Nathan Zohner’s story is a humorous one, but it illustrates an important truth: It’s possible for us as human beings to develop a lot of misconceptions about something with which we are intimately connected.

The same thing can happen in our small groups when it comes to God

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In the future , exponential change will continue to occur everywhere. As an example of the further stupidity and foolishness that ordinary North American workers will have to endure are:

- at least one fourth of all current “knowledge” and accepted “practice” will become ‘obsolete. Interestingly, most of the wisdom , that your aged grandmother could of informed you of , will be “newly discovered” and “current accepted practice” or “industry standards”

- Two career families will multiply – this is news to anyone

- If you are under 30 , you can expect to change careers on a frequent basis – every decade at the least , and jobs every four years. Watch the highly trained interviewer go on and on and stress the benefits of the firm , while not mentioning or realizing that you will be there no more than 4 years , and that the pension benefits are not portable meaning you cannot take them with you to your next job’s retirement plan

- Women will own more and more of the businesses – see above , wonder why ?

- lastly the forty hour work week will disappear. You will become a slave , while your boss downsizes and outsources , while the highest percentage of your pay goes to taxes , and faceless government workers , all the while your boss telling you “be lucky that you have a job here”.

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Measuring and monitoring the performance in a workplace is like Heisenberg’s principle of physics. The Heisenberg principle states that you can never know the position and speed of an atomic particle. By watching it you speed up the movement of the particle so that you cannot know its true speed. If you want to determine the speed you cannot this determine its position. So is with management measuring systems. If you want to watch and measure – then the results are not valid and true. Yet is all about control in the end. How foolish.

In life you ultimately learn that you have very little control – in simple terms. If you have control over your own actions that is an accomplishment in itself. Certainly you have little control over other places things and most importantly in relation to the pathological mind of most managers – other people. Yet these managers spend their entire working thoughts working to control – some say enslave others. “I am the boss”, “The rules are golden and they are my rules”. How stupid and foolish. How entirely unproductive. You would think that this is the behavior of an anal retentive 4 year old. Legends in their own mind.

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